i barfeds in our rink
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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