you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
