Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
