Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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