oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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