is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
