You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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