end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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