My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
