You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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