I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
