I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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