she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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