I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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