I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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