hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
