Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
