...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
