i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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