Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
