all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize