I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
is it fun? or sober?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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