I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
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