if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
