Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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