Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
