Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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