don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
