U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
