He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize