We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
