Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
