New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
