it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I party with great urgency now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize