just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize