you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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