How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
