1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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