he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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