Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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