The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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