just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
