I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
