i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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