The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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