drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
how drunk are you?
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