Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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