I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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