I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
