Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
