Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
