Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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