You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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