Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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