I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
