every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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