whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
