Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
