Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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