i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
