I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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