I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
