i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize